I was browsing on the internets tonite and came across an Amazon ad for Elk Carcass, and it was only like $1200. That’s 225 pounds of elk carcass (no hooves or antlers or anything … just um … dead elk.) There were two aspects to this that thoroughly amused me tho. 1.) Amazon says I can not only order it used, but I can sell my very own Elk Carcass. What wonders I find on the internets! And here I was fresh from my move with this monsterous Elk Carcass, and no room for it. What’s a boy to do?

But the thing that kills me are the comments. Here are a few of my favorite snippets:

Being somewhat a connoisseur of carcasses, I was at first dismayed at the mode of dress for this carcass, all trussed up in clean netting, defatted and with the tendons and ligiments removed, a form of carcass redacto absurdum run amok.

No matter what anyone says, you just can’t beat elk carcass. It’s the gift that keeps on giving, and when I say “giving” I mean two hundred and twenty five pounds (dead weight) of the finest animal tissue money can buy.

No matter what anyone says, you just can’t beat elk carcass. It’s the gift that keeps on giving, and when I say “giving” I mean two hundred and twenty five pounds (dead weight) of the finest animal tissue money can buy. By the way, this makes a Great wedding gift. what an impression you will make!

I know what you’re thinking: “I don’t really want to drop a grand at Amazon for carcass, but doggonit those oranges in the picture look GOOD!”

Well, friend… the oranges in the picture don’t come with the carcass. So as much as you might be tempted to max out the credit card for ELK CARCASS, give it some thought before adding it to your cart.

I say we all pitch and buy one when it becomes available again.