I had to make an entry today. The brazen stupidity of people has caused a flare up on my abhorence of extreme religion — in this case, extreme Christianity. Someone in BFE B.C. there is a little area called Quesnel where the school district is trying to kids how to not be fat — and are doing so with a program of exercise which includes Yoga.
This has upset the balance of all that is good and evil in British Columbia. The Devil, apparently, is going to use the introduction of Yoga into school fitness programs as a way to steal away the righteous, unjudging youth of the world. First, you’re doing a Salutation to the Sun, next thing you’re smoking snortin’ coke off a whore’s ass with a needle in one arm and a tattoo gun on the other paintin’ a image of the Devil himself. And to think, it all started to help a poor fat boy learn to stretch so he can tie his own shoes.
This, undoubtedly charming, woman — Chelsea Brears — has decided that Yoga is religion and has no place in her child’s education. If they can’t keep prayer in, they should not be exposed to other religions.
Because, as we know, yoga has caused MULTITUDES of people to flock to other religions. I’m willing to wager a bet (cuz i’m sinful — damn, that yoga when i was 8…) that Miss Chelsea Brears doesn’t even know the origins of Yoga, much less what religion her prized children would be converting TO. Of course, I could be completely wrong, and she may secretly do yoga herself in the dungeon-like basement of her home under the ever-watchful eye of Satan himself.
She says “her son was asked to do different poses and ‘to put his hands together.'” LORD have mercy! I remember when I was young, I was asked to put my hands together — and as soon as I did, I was encircled by swirling darkness and the Dark Lord spoke to me. Next thing I knew I had my hands together — but behind my head with handcuffs and a hooker at my side smoking a cigarette. Damn, that devil.
Stories like this make me want to hunt down Chelsea Brears and punch her in the throat. Get over it. Jesus loves Yoga.