I was thinking today as I was taking a slash about the cute boy I saw in the elevator yesterday. He was getting off as I was getting on, so there was but a brief passing — but — there was definitely a double-take there. He was defintely cute, and I semi-regret not stepping off that elevator to talk. But such is life.
So I’m going wee today and I was thinking about how difficult it is to meet a good quality guy, yada yada yada. And then I was thinking of all the places you don’t want to meet a guy. Some are very obvious:
1.) A bar. You never know what sort of alcohol problems may come with that package. Plus, if bar-hoping is a regular thing, that is not for me. Unless they have karaoke, of course. Then I’m all for it.
2.) A club. Of course not all people who go to clubs are bad and evil. However, meeting a guy at a club with whom to have a steady/healthy relationship could entail social/regular drug use — alcohol problems — clubbing every weekend (ugh). Like I said, this isn’t for everyone — but the risk is there. And with my track record, if there one of those people in a crowd of 300 people at a club, he would find me.
3.) Public bathrooms. Uhhhh. Do I really need to say anything about this. I think my aversion to bathroom communications and casual chitchat are well documented in this blog. And really — how would that come about? “Hey man, you sure did pee a long time, that’s hot.” Yah, I don’t think so. Unless you’re George Michael. Then call me.
4.) Operating Rooms. I do want to date someone who has been inside of me while I’m unconscious — much less inserted instruments into my penis or rectum. I don’t need them rootin’ around my colon looking for polyps or signs of cancer.
5.) A Star Trek Convention. As if I would ever go to a Star Trek convention anyway … but then you run this risk of them wearing scary costumes around the house, making horrific Star Trek referrences, and trying to mind meld (or whatever) with you during sex. Scary scary scary.
6.) Sears. I know no gay man who actually shops at Sears. Chances are, if they’re at Sears, they’re probably lesbian and not really a guy at all.
7.) Jail and/or Prison. This sorta ranks right up there with Ripcord. I don’t care to be someone’s bitch — or to get shivved in the shower. I saw Oz. I know what goes on in there.
8.) A Mormon Wedding. Well, chances are — they’re Mormon. And either not gay — or very closeted. And like I need either. I am all about religious tolerance to a degree … but the baggage associated with being closeted … I’d rather by single.
So as you can see — finding a guy is hard. That basically leaves me with Bed Bath & Beyond, Barnes & Noble, William Sonoma, GAP, and Pottery Barn. What’s a boy to do?