The overwhelming sadness of disappoint and failure finally overcame me today. Life is now nothing but a bleak black ball of hopelessness and morose melancholy. *sigh* woe is me, and woe is you.

I went to take the Flash MX 2004 Developer certification exam today. I’ve been studying the training guide for about five months, and the book is marked up in orange like I have OCD. Little notes in the margins, circled words — it’s all there. And yet … I still managed to fail the exam — and not by a little. I failed on the level that ol’ W. has failed to lead our country into prosperity. Next thing you know, I will be homeless and wandering the hills of Norway (wait, does Norway have hills? – don’t they have fjords or something? What the hell kind of word is fjord anyway?) in search of the ever-elusive Nordic Yeti, all the while hopelessly trying to program flash applications, but never quite finishing because I simply don’t have the capacity to comprehend.

Sad news. Hark, even the angels cry at my shame.

And now the question remains — why did I even bother taking the certification exam? Does my job require it?

No, it does not. I did it for personal shits and giggles to see how much I know. And apparently, I only know Flash 52%. Maybe I should ask the ol’ fat nordic lady I used to work with (the one who we caught shaving her mustache and chin) who claimed she knew Flash “80%” to help train me in some of the finer, more complex features of Flash — despite the fact that I had to help her create a button. (Someone explain that to me, please?)

Le sigh.

Oh well. LOOK! I’m over it.