Ya know, the 4th of July has never really done much for me. I mean, the idea of what it is is great and all. But why in the world woudl I want to stand around outside in the Texas heat, mosquitos, and wailing children to watch fireworks? I’ll pass, thanks.
But I did visit my mother yesterday. She was having a small family get-together with my aunt and two grandmothers (grandma and step-grandma — not lesbian grandmas) (tho that would be cool/creepy). So all the food is in the oven baking and me and my grandmas are sitting at the table chatting and this, that, and the other — and I guess I started looking at myself from their perspective and i realized — ya know, life should not be this hard.
I get so caught up in stuff, so bogged down how I want things to be, how i expect things to be — and it makes me miserable. I wallow in what isn’t. And to what point? Not like it changes things. I should be happier. I should smile more — laugh more. Do more of the thigns i enjoy. I sit back and just wait for things to happen, and put everything else on hold.
So, that’s my attempt. To smile more, laugh more. Be less serious about what happens. Just not worth it :).