Southern baptists are perhaps one of the tackiest pieces of Americana produced over the past 100 years. What do you do if you’re incredibly racist, uneducated, and have such a skewed tone of speech that you have to be equally drunk to understand them? Why, you start a religion, of course!

I was raised by a woman who was a watered-down Southern Baptist. Her mother definitely was, as was her brother, and I remember when I was young going to Vacation “Bahbal” School and making the most retarded plaster molds of hands and plaques that read “Jesus Loves Me Cuz I’m White.” And watching little puppet shows about Jesus. I was young. I didn’t know better. I drank the Kool-Aide.

Now that I’m older, I typically ignore most religions. People are free to worship how they will, who they will — as long as they aren’t ass hats and try to stir the shit. And what are Southern Baptists best known for?

Stirring the shit.

For example, Southern Baptists have produced the largest amount of Anti-Mormon literature of all relgious groups. They go to Mormon events in Missourah and hand it out to people. And while I can respect people trying to conver people for the well-placed sake of “saving their soul” — this literature is nothing but lies. Take an ounce of truth and a pound of fiction….

But I digress, as this is not about Mormons. This is about their lack of social awareness and overall ass-hattedness.

The latest proclamation from Rev. David Clippard (of the Baptist Southern Convention) is:

WARNGING! WARNING! Muslims are here to take over our country! Today, Islam has a strategic plan to defeat and occupy America. What they are after is your sons and daughters. They are coming to this country in the guise of students, and the Saudi government is paying their expenses.”

And here’s the best part …

hey are trying to establish a Muslim state inside America, and they are going to take the city of Detroit back to the 15th century and practice Sharia (or Islamic) law there.”

See. Now that preacher just deserves to be slapped. QUIT STIRRING THE SHIT. It’s not true, you fool. Check your facts before you pull stuff out of your ass.

n an interview Tuesday, Clippard said he believed the Islamic “strategy for taking over America” was to wait until there was a Muslim majority here and then “eradicate those who don’t conform to their religion.”

On Monday night, he told the crowd that “your freedom is on the floor with their foot on it, with their sword raised, and if you don’t convert, your head comes off.”

Usama K. Dakdok, an Egyptian Christian and founder of Straight Way Ministry who calls himself a “Muslim evangelism specialist,” said Tuesday that “every word (Clippard) said is true. It’s time for us to wake up. They are not here to be in our welfare system, they are here to take over our country.”
The Rev. Gerald R. Davidson, pastor emeritus of First Baptist Church in Arnold, classified the discussion of Islam as “external things for us to struggle with,” but added, “Islam is more aggressive than we are” when it comes to evangelism.

Ibrahim Hooper, a national spokesman for the Council on American-Islamic Relations, said he was not surprised about the content of Clippard’s message, but he said he was worried about its effects.

“This kind of hate-filled, ignorant rhetoric shouldn’t be coming from religious leaders in our country who should instead be repudiating this kind of bigotry,” he said. “He may be comfortable saying these things behind closed doors, but the real impact is on everyday Muslims who have to live with the consequences of this kind of talk.”

And here is the REAL ringer ….

Clippard said Tuesday that his message was really about love.

“I don’t hate Islamic people,” he said. “We need to love these folks, go after them and love them, one at a time. We need to crucify them with Christ.”

I’m thinking someone needs to throw a little chlorine into that section of the gene pool.