MonthSeptember 2006

Stick a Ribbon

The Spankers really should be revered as gods. Seriously. I mean, just look at how clever this is.


Learning How To Strip

Over the past few days I’ve been focusing my talents on stripping. I’ve learned a tremendous amount so far such as what to wear and what not to wear, why it’s paramount you where gloves, and making sure you wipe off any fluids that touch you or it may cause some nasty things. All I can say is that it’s really worn me out — my arms and legs are totally sore from all the stretching and jerking motions. And after I was finished — the floor was a total bitch to clean. I had to break out the 409 to get some of that stuff off.

I managed to get some pictures of the event — so feel free to take a gander.

Things I Hate

Today is one of those days that generally feels a little off, perhaps a little more negative than usual (although I know several who would say my perspective is always negative. But they’re all bitches anyway.) So I thought I’d write a little list of things that are currently on my “Hate And Iritation List” — aka HAIL.

HAIL for September 15

  • Lawn care workers who start mowing my neighbors lawn at fucking 6:45am.
  • Dreaming realistic dreams about people I’d rather not dream about.
  • Sweating in bed.
  • Zits in horribly inopportune places such as immediately under your chin or on the edge of your lip.
  • Installing beta software that doesn’t include drivers for important things such as … oh, your network controller.
  • 18 wheelers who don’t pay enough attention to their surroundings.
  • An hour drive to work in the morning.
  • Computer hardware that cuts in and out resulting in minor surgery to get things to work.
  • “Good Eats” about things I don’t like, such as Eggplant (tho, I will admit, it was still very interesting).
  • Wanting to eat toast and jam in the mornings, but refraining because i’m getting FAT.
  • Spinich with e-coli in it.

I believe 11 shall suffice for today.

Have a good day everyone.

Nothing Butter To Do

I had a fun Labor Day weekend. I didn’t go out of town or do anything exciting as far as really getting out of the house (I washed my car at my mom’s, does that count?), but I did spend some good quality time with Abel.

Saturday night, Abel and I decided we would try an experiment. We wanted to make butter. And butter we made. I know, I know … who just sits around and says “hey, let’s make butter,” but that’s exactly what happened and exactly what we did.

We had to decide what kind of butter we were going to make. We looked in the pantry and decided on vanilla butter and then went to the store and got strawberries to make strawberry butter. We took pictures of it all which I will post later this evening.

I’m not going to give away my secrets or anything, but the first batch — while tasty — was a learning experience — particularly in combining the flavors. Mixing a liquid into butter isn’t the easiest thing in the world, particularly when doing it by hand. But at last I prevailed — and the results were satisfying if not rather amateur.

So upon deciding that our efforts were tasty enough that we would give it another shot with other flavors (and my mother’s request), we went back to the store and bought enough supplies to make a whole whole whole lot of butter (probably an additional about 128 tbs. or 16 sticks in all).

We made: Strawberry, vanilla, more strawberry, plain butter, garlic, basil and rosemary, spiced honey, and peach. The best one … spiced honey. The peach butter was quite divine too.

So now — I have an assload of butter of on my hands and I’m not really sure what to do with it. In total, we that’s 1,825 grams of fat. YES! You really can’t beat that. I almost wonder how that compares to liposuction…

Anyway, if you want some butter — let me know. I’ve got plenty.

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