MonthMay 2006

Let’s hear it for the boy…

Let’s give the boy a haannanananaaaddd….

I saw the saddest story today on Digg. About a boy who was born a well-developed 3rd arm. And it’s developed enough that they can’t tell which arm is the real arm and which is the … “value-added” limb. Apparently he cashed in on that buy two get one free special.

It’s rather sad … and I definitely feel sorry for him and his family. He also only has one kidney and is going to have some weird curvature of the spine. Poor kid.

State of the Union

It’s Monday — 4pm. The day is almost done, and it has been so busy today. Today is the first day of me working at Continental without David, so now I am fielding work that both of us would normally do. It kind’a sucks, yo. Actually, now I just feel sorta tired, and am way ready to go home. I have a feeling there will never be a lack of something to do. Unless, of course, it turns out that I’m abnormally efficient at multi-tasking and can plot my eventual take over of the world while still cranking out banner after banner for Continental.

So let’s see … other things … I’ve been working on a very-long-overdue redesign for this site. This design works fine, but I’m kind’a over it. So hopefully I will have it done by the end of May (lots of new stuff coming).

OH! I’m sure you’re dying to know the current status of my renal system. I am currently kidney stone free. At least I think I am. I had to do this little 48-hour pee collection a few weeks ago. So picture me (but not vividly, please – and if it is vivid, well … just don’t tell me about it) … picture me peeing into this orange jug thing, collecting every drop of precious tinkle for the doctors to examine and tell me what its made of. … for 48 hours. And then having to pour it into these little medical vile container things to be MAILED. Yes. My pee has now gone postal.

Well, we finally got the results back, and I apparently have extremely acidic wee. You know guys, how sometimes you go into the urinal thing and the bottom of the wall has like rust spots? Apparently, that’s because of me. I can dissolve metal.

Ok, not really. I just make stones.

BUT — I have started a new medicine now (something I can remember). It’s HUGE. And it’s this wax pill that has potassium and citrate in it, built in this wax-like honeycomb. And apparently, i will never completely digest the wax part, and I will poop it out. And you wouldn’t believe all the amazing thoughts that flooded my mind with that thought: me having waxy poop.

Candles anyone? Or maybe I will slip when getting out of my shower, and hit my head on the sing and die — but when i fall, i smash a hole in the wall and all these bees come out, and they smell the wax in my poop and invade my butt, building a hive in my butt amongst the waxy poop. That would be simply amazing. Not fun, but amazing.

Anyway — that was pretty graphic, I suppose.

But look, now it’s time for me to leave work. Time to go relax at home and … do more work. Bah.

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