MonthOctober 2005

WTF is Wrong with You!?

I just went to pee today. After my exciting pot o’ blood that i peed in the urinal yesterday, I have resorted to make sure I use the stalls, lest the urinal not flush, and I’m stuck with the dilemma of what to do with the bloody tinkle.

So I walk into the stall — the last one, the handicap one, because the other two doors were closed. (And judging by the amount of newspaper on the floor, someone brought their dog to work today.)

I walk into the stall and see this…

Now WTF is this? Did the person who preceded me think he would do me a favor by creating a seat tissue-cushion for me? How thoughtful. Or was he just too lazy to slip the paper into the potty when he stood up? WTF!? I was seriously grossed out by the thought of someone’s ass-sweat-soaked tissue toilet cover waiting for disposal. I knocked that shit in the toilet with my foot and pissed all over it (and it hurt 🙁 /cry).

And I read this today (which is ultimately disgusting and amazing at the same time). Do not look at this if you are about to eat, are eating, or have issues with yukky-natured things.

Life-time Warranty

I’m tired of my body. I’m been looking for my life-time warranty, but I seem to have misplaced it … which sucks, because this kidney bullshit is gettin’ on my fuckin’ last nerve.

I went to the ER yesterday — not because I was in pain, but because I pissed a pot of blood again, which really isn’t that alarming any more for me. I just needed to know what was going on, get some x-rays and what not.

The results?

There are multiple punctate calculi in the lower pole collecting system of the left kidney. These measure approximately 2-3mm. There is an approximate 5mm stone at the left UVJ. There is no evidence of hydronephrosis on the left. The left uterus (*I HAVE A UTERUS!??)*) is mildly dialated, however there is normal drainage with no evidence of delayed excretion. The left kidney demonstrates normal enhancement and excretion.

There is a puctate calculus measuring approximately 2mm in the proximal right ureter. There is no evidence of hydroureter or hydronephrosis on the right. The right kidney demonstrates normal enhancement and excretion. There is a simple cyst measured approximately 9mm in the lower pole right kidney.

The liver is unremarkable. There is a punctate calcification in the spleen. Otherwise, the spleen in unremarkable. The pancreas and bilateral adrenal glands are unremarkable. The gallbladder and biliary tree appear unremarkable. Visualized bowel appears unremarkable. There is no evidence of lympadenopathy.

The prostate and seminal vesicles appear unremarkable. There are no lytic or blastic lesions.

Lung bases are clear.

Overall Impression:
1. Approximately 5mm nonobstructing calculus at the left UVJ.
2. Approximately 2mm nonobstructing calculus at the proximal right ureter.
3. Multiple left renal lower pole collecting system calculi.
4. Simple right renal cyst

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