MonthAugust 2005

new rent trailer

I was kind’a nervous about this whole Rent movie. It could be REALLY bad. And just from the trailers, the sound seems terribly …. canned. It’s just too fine-tuned sounding to be the raw work it is. But maybe that’s what people like — or want.
Regardless, the soundtrack comes out September 27 — and features a new song at the end called “Love Heals” that was penned by J. Larson, but never included in the show. (I heard another song that was cut that was actually pretty good, tho I can’t remember the name of it for the life of me.)
Anyway, there is also a new trailer for the movie, shows a little more footage — (it seems very … My “So Called” Life — LOL). Let’s hope it’s good. I’m still excited for it. Takes me back to my days when I was in college. Rent came out, and being at a Mormon school, was horribly taboo. OMG, gay people, drag queens, and AIDS, oh my! What would Joseph Smith say!? But we loved it anyway. And we played the shit out of Seasons of Love and La Vie Boheme — and who can forget the Tony Awards that year. LOL
I have to say tho, it really is a shame that Jonathan Larson died. I’ve never been very satisfied with the end of Rent. I think it’s silly, all that weird “Moo” shit — “I jumped over the moon!” Whatever. If the rest of this is so real and heart felt, why does the ending to be so styrofoam? I think they should have kept it like the real La Boheme and let Mimi die. The point would have been all that more poignant.

what can i do

Not a lot to say tonite. And why say a lot when it a song could do so much better? And it’s, of course, nothing really just crystal clear or anything — more an ambiance, i suppose. So I’ll give 3 songs:
What Can I Do — Antony and the Johnsons
If I Could (Orchestral Version)— Erasure
Migratory V/Horse With Wings — Betty Buckley
Ya know, when you’re feeling silly and embarrassed about life, seems like Betty Buckley is just like a cup ‘o soup to try to make things better. Something about her voice … so sincere, almost homeopathic in nature. Like she feels everything I feel, so I dont have to. Now, why isn’t that in pill form?

things you can do with a penis

Sometimes when I’m in the shower, I can’t help but let my wander to things penile. And I started thinking – Well, gee … this could be a really useful tool.
So what sort of things could you use a hard penis for?

1. An extra finger to tie that bow-tie.
2. A shoe horn.
3. A coffee stirrer.
4. A hanger to hold your freshly pressed shirt or pants.
5. An extra hand to close the car door when your hands are full with groceries.
6. A useful tool in school dances when you can not use a Bible to keep enough room for the Holy Ghost too.
7. A conductor’s stick-thing to conduct an orchestra.
8. A whisk with which to beat eggs (no, not your wife’s eggs, perv).
9. A launchboard for aiming snowballs at your friend (ugh! perv!).
10. A handy appendage for hitting the space bar when you’re typing with one hand.

christian honesty

So I’m reading CNN this morning about this Pat Robertson calling for the assassination of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez. Ok, first of all — why is this in the media? Secondly, why is this a Christian religious figure that is calling for an assassination? I mean, hello — thou shalt no kill? ??? What the fuck!?
I don’t understand people. I don’t understand politics, much less politics smeared with religion. I understand there are some nasty dumb ass people out there. I think I was driving behind one yesterday. But, I did not call for an open assassination of the bitch.
But it’s no wonder so many people hate Americans. Look at what we put as public influence.


Ok, so i was reading an article today that mentioned that Mozart’s “The Magic Flute” is being developed into a movie — with a $20 million budget. Filming starts this spring, but is being recorded sometime this fall.
I really enjoyed The Magic Flute, despite the fact that when I saw it I was considerably ill — fever, etc. I actually saw it the afternoon of the Super Bowl when the whole Janet Jackson/breast fiasco occured. I guess it was my way of balancing culture.
Or something.
But either way, I think it has the potential to be really really good. The Queen of the Night aria was like my introduction to opera … and it’s still equally as amazing now as it was when I heard it for the first time.

gah. let the games begin…

Why is that the slightest mention of a vacation — some place to go and relax and enjoy meself — my body has to reject itself? I went to the bathroom 15 minutes ago and peed blood. Not a lot of blood. But enough to make me sit up and say “ah shit. not again.” See what happens when you stop and say you’re in good health!?
Dammit. I’ve been drinking so much water too. I seriously want to cry. But I’m not going to. Cuz only fags cry.


Why-o, Wyoming

UPDATE: Hmm, well the repsonse has not been too good. So far I’ve received from David: “Michael, I love you. But I have no desire to go to Wyoming.” and from Joz: “Um. You don’t know me very well, do you.” I’ll be sure to post my other responses here as well.

I’ve been wanting to take a trip to Yellowstone National Park since the beginning of the year. And here it is mid-August and I’ve done nothing. If I wait too much longer, the snow will start falling — and I am not about to go driving around in some wilderness on mountains in snow. I saw Misery. I know what happens.
I talked to my Dad (being that he grew up in that general area) about it, and he said it will probably start getting chilly in early-mid September. That’s ok, I don’t mind the cold. I’ve been to Yellowstone several times before, always, it seems, in the Winter — and yes, it can be bitingly cold. But they DO have hot springs in the area (which are so lovely, except for the occasional spike of sulfer).
So I’ve been doing some research, and I can get a car for about $17 a day (which is fab), and it would take about 7-8 hours to drive from Boise, Idaho to Wyoming (as Continental does not fly into Jackson Hole). That’s all reasonable. So I’m thinking — fly out on Thursday, Come back on Monday … That’s doable. And then I hit Yellowstone and i can hike and take pictures and fornicate in the wilderness. LOL – yah, or maybe not. Unless there are some hot beefy burritos of manhood choppin’ trees … but even then … LOL, I think I’d rather just stare.
But, I’m really sorta kind’a not wanting to go by myself. I mean, sure, getting back to nature is nice and all — time to myself, etc. But bitches. I live alone. I don’t need THAT much time to myself. So — anyone wanna go with me to Wyoming? It’d be great fun. (And all I can think of when I think of hiking in Yellowstone is that line from Priscilla — “Oh great. Just what this country needs: a cock in a frock on a rock.”) The drag is not requisite to come (although I imagine it would be great fun. 🙂 ). So … anyone? Anyone?

how much is that doggy?

I’m not sure who is more unfortunate, the dog or the woman. I suppose love is blind (as is the dog, for that matter) … (and probably the woman too). I can only imagine what he looked like as a puppy.


I can’t believe it’s already mid-August 2005. WTF. Time has flown by so fast. I’ve been at Continental almost 5 months now — and in that 5 months so much has happened to me … I’ve really grown a lot and my perspective on a lot has changed, particularly my view of myself. I’ve always been so unsure of myself, viewed myself as undeserving, just another hack struggling to get by. And sure, I still think that half the time — but thanks to Adam, Kevin, my mom and these projects at Continental, my programming skills have grown leaps and bounds — and I actually enjoy doing it. Adam has been so patient with me, trying to help me to understand concepts and ways of doing things. I know he gets frustrated because my vocabulary in describing things is kind’a limited. But I really contribute a lot of my learning to him. So thank you, Adam. 🙂
Anothing thing that has grown a lot in the last 5 months has been my relationship with David. He’s my bestfriend and I feel like I’m the luckiest boy alive to be able to have the job I do, that I enjoy doing, and being able to work daily one on one with my best friend. Things have been a little rough the past few weeks, and I was writing in my journal last nite about things and what has been going on at work — and I realized that I so wouldn’t be here where I am today if it were not for him. I met him almost 5 yeas ago, and from that point on, my life took a different route that has made me someone different than I otherwise would have been without having him in my life. His influence has brought me through a lot, taught me a lot, and helped me grown my talents. We started a business together and still run it, and we work well together. I love him a lot, and feel more than blessed to have him in my life.
I have also been healthier the past 5 months (knock on wood) than I have been in a good while. I’ve passed a few very small stones (small as in I wasn’t aware of them until they came shooting out), but nothing that has required meds or a trip to the ER. My water intake has increased dramatically and my Dr. Pepper intake has deacreased. So three cheers for good health. 🙂
I’ve started writing a book … nothign that I am going to go into here right now, but it is an endeavor I’ve thought about for several months and am finally starting out. That is one project … I’ve also started getting back into doing massages again.
I graduate this January. Three more classes to go and I cannot wait to be done. To have a degree after all these years. I graduated from Ricks in 1999 with an AA — and now, i’m almost 29, and i’ll be getting my BS (and a lot of debt). But regardless, I’m proud of myself for being as dedicated as I have been to maintain a decent GPA, get my work done, and actually learn something in the process (well, except for that second Java class that Kevin did for me *cough* helped me with. 🙂 Thanks again, Kev. You’re a peach. :))
But ya know — overall — my life is improving. I’m taking steps to improve it finally instead of hoping it would improve itself. A little ambition goes a long way — I think there’s an analogy about a bush and barrel, but can’t think of it for the life of me … so i’ll make up my own: A lush in a bush is better than a drunk in a barrel.
But again, I’d like to thank my friends — Adam, Kevin, David, Alex, Rachel, Michael-gurl, Patrick, my mom … for helping me these last 5 months. I love you all (yes, even you Kevin, not that you read this …) and I’m really very very thankful that I have you all in my life.

happy divorce

Today is a significant day – at least for me. Normally an ordinary Thursday, and granted it hasn’t been all roses. But today marks the anniversary of a significant change in my life.
15 years ago today, my father told me to gather my things, and we left the home I had lived in for 9 years. I remember the day very well. I was 13. I didn’t really understand at the time the seriousness of what was happening. It was my step-sister’s birthday, and something must have happened that pushed my father too far. I didn’t get to take everything with me. I left a lot of personal stuff there, which I know was thrown out. But I gathered a few bags (i don’t remember much of this at all), and I remember sitting on the couch watching the events of the day unfold — my step-mother crying, pleading for him not to leave.
And we left. And life went on. I met my first boyfriend the next year. Grew to become emotionally independent (if not withdrawn) and personally responsible as my father began working as much as he could to support us.
Scary decision on his part. But that was probably the most respectable thing I’ve ever seen him do for me. And I know the actions were largely for me.
So, today is for dad (something I wouldn’t normally do otherwise), and I thank him for ending the turmoil and strife that had made me miserable for several years of my childhood.

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