MonthFebruary 2005

small break

Well, it’s about time to renew my hosting — I’m making some changes to the hosting and my e-mail — so my site (and will be down for a few days probably. I really don’t know. Guess we’ll find out.
So — things will be gray for a bit.

hot fruit – part 2

A continuation of Friendster… as i mentioned last week, I was supposed to have a date on Friday with this guy (Matt) I met on Friendster. Initially, the plan was for dinner and a movie. Sounded delovely.
But alas things changed …
Thursday night’s conversation with him ended up with plans to meet for lunch in Galveston on Friday. Then it would be on to dinner/movie after I got off work. Well — as we were leaving Mosquito Cafe, my step-dad Eric called and said he had 4 tickets to Les Mis, and wondered if I would like to go. Upon discussion with Matt, we decided to take the tickets and ditch the movie. So Matt and I hooked up after I got off work — around 5 or so, and we chilled, talked for a while, and watched two episodes of Strangers with Candy — which were HILARIOUS!!

(On a side note, we watched the episode where Jerri doesn’t know how to read — and there were points in the rest of the date where we’d be all “You’re so illiterate, I bet you can’t even hear me, you ILLITERATE!” — I’m sure you had to be there, but it was truly amusing. That and the sign they were holding up in the back that said “Stupid Bich” LOL We were laughing about that for a while.)

Anyway, so we decided to skip dinner cuz we were both rather full from lunch still — and headed out to pick up Rachel and head to the Hobby Center. We were, of course, running slightly late — and we were meeting my good friend JB (fellow theatre fag) at the theatre. But we weren’r running late enough to not stop and buy some Girl Scout Cookies. (Damn, those Do-Si-Dos are crack!)
We made it to the theatre with literally 2 minutes to spare before they closed the doors for seating. Matt and JB had never seen Les Mis before — so it was pretty exciting. (Show-wise, the talent was very good. Except for Fantine. I couldn’t wait for her to die.) The best part of the show was when Matt grabbed my hand and wrapped his other arm around my arm and just sorta curled up next to me while we watched. Made the show even more enjoyable.
After the show, we decided to go for cocktails at Keys West, this gaudy gay piano bar. We were the youngest there by probably 10 years and it was so much fun!! Rachel was the only “girl” there — tho there was a couple of drag queens. Drinks were quite stiff, and we ended up staying for 2 hours, singing along with the piano guy as he did rather odd piano arrangements of show tunes and classic tunes (he played “Come What May” from Moulin Rouge, which was one of the most fucked up versions I’ve ever heard). JB and Rachel are so much fun to go out with. I don’t go out with Rachel very often, but I always have so much fun when we do. JB is a hoot! Just makes me laugh forever. Matt thoroughly enjoyed both of them.
We drove home around 1:30am and dropped Rachel off, and we said our goodnights (which go undocumented here). But let’s just say that it was the cherry on top of for the evening.
And thus ended the “official” date of Michael and Matt.
However, the “unofficial” date continued on Saturday. We met up for lunch at Chabuca’s in Clear Lake and had a very lovely meal (I had sirloin parmigian – and damn, it was good!) We had fun talk and was just very enjoyable. It was crowded, wasn’t loud — and we just had a good time being able to sit and talk about things, get to know each other. Then we ran out to my mom’s house since we were close to pick up more Girl Scout cookies (god, i’m a cookie whore) and to thank Eric again for the Les Mes tix. We stayed and chatted for 30 min or so and headed back out to my place. The weather SUCKED ASS. All it did was rain like the whole day. And it was cold and yuk.
We got back to my place and had some time to kill before the surprise party for Kelly. Matt had agreed to be my date for evening. We had about 3 hours to kill tho … so Matt looked through my movies and picked out Drop Dead Gorgeous (cuz he’d never seen it). (The whole night, i was going “Oh crep! Oh mie gahd! oh crep!”) We just curled up on the couch and laughed and laughed and laughed. (Tondue, close! Tondue close!)
Then came the party. This was a surprise party for my friend Kelly (of New Year’s Eve fame) and it was a lot of the people from the New Year’s Even shindig. What fun we had! We had a lot of drinks and laughed and laughed. I found that several people there read my blog fairly regularly and were quite aware of “Harrrrrr!” My, how I laughed at the number of people who were saying throughout the night.
Matt and I received quite a few comments from people saying “awwww, you two are so cute together!” I don’t mind hearing things like that. We left the party when the hot tub turned on and naked people appeared in the water. 😉
We drove back to my place and chatted for a while, putting a nice touch to a fantastic weekend. We discussed his work schedule and when I might be able to see him again.
Turns out that “again” was today (Sunday) for lunch. 🙂 We met for Mexican food at this god awful nasty place by me called Tequila Bloom. People. Don’t eat there. It was yuk. But good just to spend time with him. I think the best part of lunch with this VERY TACKY Christian karaoke that was going on. But it was weird — it was only one song. And the woman was REALLY bad. But we talked about the weekend, how much we both enjoyed ourselves — and when we’ll be seeing each other again.
And that will be next weekend.
People, i don’t think you could get the grin off my face with a vat of acid. Matt is so nice. Such a gentleman. So quiet and reserved — but funny as hell. He’s an RN, smart as can be, has a mind trudged through the gutter like mine. And who can beat that? 🙂

hoorah! hooray!

i went shopping last nite with Alex to buy some muchly needed new clothes. For those of you who do not have the benefit of interacting with me on a daily basis, I should tell you now that i have lost something like 30 pounds since November. Being sick, kidney stones, and watching what I eat has been a great weight loss program for me.
Anyway — so Alex and I are shopping, and we hit the usual fag stores, Banana, Gap, Express — and I found a pair of pants that are supreme. And what’s better — it’s waist size 30!!!!! This is the first time I’ve ever bought size 30 pants. And they aren’t even uncomfortable! I’m so proud! *kleenex to eye*
Anyway wanna make bets as to how long it takes before I can’t wear them anymore? LOL


I just had to post this — it’s too funny not to. It’s so bad.

sweet17: Hi
Bloodninja: hello
Bloodninja: who is this?
sweet17: just a someone?
Bloodninja: A someone I know?
sweet17: nope
Bloodninja: Then why the hell are you bothering me?
sweet17: well sorrrrrry
sweet17: I just wanted to chat with you
Bloodninja: why?
sweet17: nevermind your an jerk
Bloodninja: Hey wait a minute
sweet17: yes?
Bloodninja: look I’m sorry. I’m just a little paranoid
sweet17: paranoid?
Bloodninja: yes
sweet17: of what?
sweet17: me?
Bloodninja: No. I’m in hiding.
sweet17: LOL
Bloodninja: Don’t fucking laugh at me!
Bloodninja: This shit is serious!
sweet17: What are you hiding from?
Bloodninja: The cops.
sweet17: gimme a fucking break
Bloodninja: I’m serious.
sweet17: I don’t get it
Bloodninja: The cops are after me.
sweet17: For what?
Bloodninja: I’m wanted in three states
sweet17: For???
Bloodninja: It’s kindof embarrasing.
Bloodninja: I had sex with a turkey.
Bloodninja: Hello?
sweet17: You are fucking sick.
Bloodninja: Send me your picture.
sweet17: why?
Bloodninja: so I know you aren’t one of them.
sweet17: One of what?
Bloodninja: The cops.
sweet17: I’m not a cop i told you
Bloodninja: Then send me your picture.
sweet17: hold on
Bloodninja: Hurry up.
Bloodninja: Are you there?
Bloodninja: Fuck you, cop!
sweet17: Hey sorry
sweet17: I had to do something for my mom.
Bloodninja: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.
Bloodninja: When really you were notifying the authorities.
Bloodninja: Weren’t you!?
sweet17: thats not it
Bloodninja: Then what?
sweet17: I don’t want to send you the picture cause I’m not pretty
Bloodninja: Most cops aren’t
Bloodninja: Then send me the picture.
sweet17: fine. What’s your e-mail?
Bloodninja: Just send it through here.
sweet17: alright *PIC*
sweet17: Did you get it?
Bloodninja: Hold on. I’m looking.
sweet17: That was me back in may
sweet17: I’ve lost weight since then.
Bloodninja: I hope so
sweet17: what?!?
sweet17: that hurt my feelings.
Bloodninja: Did it?
sweet17: Yes. I’m not that much smaller than that now.
Bloodninja: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?
sweet17: yes
Bloodninja: Alright let me find it.
sweet17: kks
Bloodninja: Okay here it is. *PIC*
sweet17: this isn’t you.
Bloodninja: I’ll be damned if it ain’t!
sweet17: You don’t look like that.
Bloodninja: How the hell do you know?
sweet17: cause your profile has another picture.
Bloodninja: The profile pic is a fake.
Bloodninja: I use it to hide from the cops.
sweet17: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol
Bloodninja: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy….
Bloodninja: Not to mention all the groceries.
sweet17: Go fuck yourself
Bloodninja: I was going to until I saw that picture
Bloodninja: Now my unit won’t get hard for a week.
sweet17: I shouldn’t have sent you that picture.
sweet17: You’ve done nothing but slam me.
sweet17: you hurt me.
Bloodninja: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn’t hurt me?
sweet17: I thought you were bullcrapping me!
Bloodninja: Why would I do that?
sweet17: I can’t believe that cops are after you
Bloodninja: I can’t believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..
sweet17: FUCK YOU!!!
Bloodninja: You’d break both of his legs.
sweet17: You’re a FUCKING ASSHOLE!
sweet17: I’ve been teased my whole life because of my weight
sweet17: and you make fun of me when you don’t even know me
Bloodninja: Ok. I’m sorry.
sweet17: No you aren’t
Bloodninja: You’re right. I’m not.
Bloodninja: HAARRRRR!
sweet17: I’m done with you
Bloodninja: Aww. I’m sorry.
sweet17: I’m putting you on ignore
Bloodninja: Wait a sec
Bloodninja: We got off on the wrong foot.
Bloodninja: Wanna start over?
sweet17: No
Bloodninja: I’ll eat your kitty
sweet17: You’ll what?
Bloodninja: You heard me.
Bloodninja: I said I’d eat your kitty.
sweet17: I thought you said you couldn’t get it hard after seeing my picture
Bloodninja: Do I need a hard-on to eat your kitty?
sweet17: I’d like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes
Bloodninja: Well I’m not like most men.
Bloodninja: I get excited in different ways.
sweet17: Like what?
Bloodninja: Do you really wanna know?
sweet17: I don’t know
Bloodninja: You have to tell me yes or no.
sweet17: I’m afraid to
Bloodninja: Why?
sweet17: cause
Bloodninja: cause why?
sweet17: well lets see
sweet17: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out
sweet17: doesn’t that seem strange to you?
Bloodninja: Nope
sweet17: well its strange to me
Bloodninja: Fine. I won’t do it if you don’t want me to
sweet17: I didn’t say that
Bloodninja: So is that a yes?
sweet17: I guess so.
Bloodninja: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.
Bloodninja: Are you willing?
sweet17: What do you need me to do?
Bloodninja: I need you talk like a pirate.
sweet17: ???
Bloodninja: When I start to go limp… you say “HARRRR!!!”
Bloodninja: ok?
Bloodninja: Hello?
sweet17: You can’t be serious
Bloodninja: Oh yes I am!
Bloodninja: It’s my fantasy.
sweet17: this is retarded
Bloodninja: Do you want it or not?
sweet17: Yes I want it.
Bloodninja: Then you’ll do it for me?
sweet17: sure
Bloodninja: Ok. Here we go.
Bloodninja: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.
Bloodninja: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them
Bloodninja: I softly begin to tounge your wet kitty.
Bloodninja: I run my tounge up and down your smooth cunt.
sweet17: mmmm yeah
Bloodninja: uh oh …going limp.
sweet17: Har
Bloodninja: You gotta do better than that!
Bloodninja: Your picture was really bad.
Bloodninja: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your kitty get more moist with every stroke.
Bloodninja: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth.
Bloodninja: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose.
Bloodninja: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.
sweet17: mmmmmm you are good
Bloodninja: I feel your thighs tighten as I suckharder
Bloodninja: going limp
sweet17: HARRRRRRR
Bloodninja: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.
Bloodninja: You begin to sway back and forth.
Bloodninja: going limp
sweet17: this is stupid
Bloodninja: …still limp
Bloodninja: Do it!
Bloodninja: I turn you around to lick your asshole.
Bloodninja: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.
Bloodninja: I see poo nuggets hanging from the hair around your ass.
sweet17: WTF?!?!?
Bloodninja: They stink really bad.
sweet17: OMG STOP!!!
Bloodninja: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass
Bloodninja: I tear off your wooden peg leg.
Bloodninja: I ram it up your ass.
Bloodninja: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.
Bloodninja: And turn you into a fucking candy apple…
Bloodninja: I kick you in the face!
Bloodninja: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin…
Bloodninja: Your parrot flys away.
Bloodninja: …going limp again.
Bloodninja: Hello?
Bloodninja: Say it!
Bloodninja: HAARRRRRR!!!!!

memes … i got sucked in

Ok, so following Trinity’s lead (again) — here’s the meme. Things that I have not done. (Things I’ve never done will be bolded.)

I’ve never kissed a member of the opposite sex
I’ve never kissed a member of the same sex
I’ve never crashed a friend’s car
I’ve never been to japan
I’ve never been in a taxi
I’ve never been in love
I’ve never had sex in a public place
I’ve never been dumped
I’ve never done cocaine
I’ve never shoplifted
I’ve never been fired
I’ve never been in a fist fight
I’ve never had group intercourse
I’ve never snuck out of my parent’s house
I’ve never been tied up
I’ve never regretted having sex with someone
I’ve never been arrested
I’ve never made out with a stranger
I’ve never stolen something from my job
I’ve never celebrated new years in time square
I’ve never gone on a blind date
I’ve never lied to a friend
I’ve never had a crush on a teacher or professor
I’ve never celebrated mardi gras in new orleans
I’ve never been to europe
I’ve never skipped school
I’ve never slept with a co-worker
I’ve never cut myself on purpose
I’ve never had sex at the office
I’ve never been married
I’ve never been divorced
I’ve never had sex with more than one person within the same week
I’ve never posed nude
I’ve never gotten someone drunk just to have sex with them
I’ve never killed anyone
I’ve never received scars from my sex partner
I’ve never thrown up in a bar
i’ve never taken a hallucinogenic drug
I’ve never purposely set a part of myself on fire
I’ve never eaten sushi
I’ve never been snowboarding
I’ve never had sex at a friend

two things

FIRST — what the hell is wrong with men? Why is that every time I go into a public restroom, there is piss on the floor in front of the urinal. And I don’t meet a dribble drip or two. I mean, the chance that they got any pee in the toilet is slim to none. So what is up with that? Do they stand far away cuz they’re exhibitionists? Are they afraid of getting splash-back from the pee hitting the toilet? I mean, I could understand if they have a bladder problem and just didn’t make it in time — but still … get some towels! I don’t want to stand in your wee!
I seriously don’t understand public hygiene. People who shit and don’t flush … people who piss on the floor and toilet seat … people who wipe bloody boogers on the wall in front of the urinal (and you know those cleaning bitches don’t clean the wall!) I mean, do these people do this in their own home? I mean, not changing the toilet paper roll is one thing … but wiping your ass on the wall is another.
And what’s more — people will take a shit (nasy one too), and then leave without washing their hands — as I noticed yesterday. Did they not wipe? Did they not touch the public toilet seat? GERMSS!! HELLO!! And on top of that — those bitches can fly! You flush the toilet and they go spraying all over everything. I read this arcticle about how they tested items in a common household bathroom and found traces of e. coli on things like the toothbrush, the toilet paper, the water faucet handles. Because you flush and the water goes *swoosh!* and the germs become airborn. WASH YOUR HANDS. WITH SOAP. and Close the lid at home when you flush. Keeps them at least to a smaller area.
SECOND — HARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!! — compliments of Trinity. 🙂 (I laughed for a good hour at this.)

lesbos, nurses, and dating

I know I’ve blogged a lot today. LOL. I’m kind’a bored at work, what can I say. This morning I was driving in to work and, as usual for this time of year, I was enveloped in this spooky fog (which is even scarier since I’m going to down 146 which is like ALL refineries and chemical plants — it’s very Night of the Living Dead). This old beat up car pulls up next to me at the stop light and looks over at me. It’s this girl in this baseball hat. I just smile and keep singing along with Erasure. She drives on, pulls past me and I notice the array of lesiban stickers on her car raning from “Girls Kick Ass” surrounded by rainbow lines to “Xena Rules” also surrounded by rainbow lines. Makes you wonder if Lucy Lawless cares that she’s a lesbian icon. And it makes me wonder if these lesbian girls who worship her do that crazy Xena yell thing that goes “Aye aye aye aye!” (Although, i guess in text that looks more like Chita Rivera in West Side Story.)
In other homo news, — brace yourself — I have a DATE. Of course, most of you already know this — and yes, most of you have already been to his friendster profile. But i’m so excited. He seems so nice and sincere. We’ve chatted rather extensively, I suppose. And i finally charmed him enough to ask me out to dinner/movie. His name is Matt and equally (if not more so) charming as me.
So I’m excited for our date. It’s been a while, and I wasn’t sure I was wanting to date. But how in the world could I say no to him? I’d been discussing dating and my luck with finding the “extremes” in the gene pool — and he proposed they take a quiz for processing. So Steve came up with this quiz. Feel free to respond.


1. If I were a tree, I would be a:

2. My idea of a fun night is to:

3. The last big relationship I was in:

4. The last book I read was:

5. If Michael agrees to date me:

6. I think that monogamy is:

7. My relationship with my parents is:

8. To keep the spark in my relationships, I:

9. My friends support my relationships by:

10. As for body,:

recipe for a sperm

Alex always provides me with a banquet of exciting knowledge throughout my work day. Today, she explained to me the composition of a sperm and the functionalities of the spermy system.
Did you know that sperm is a regular multi-vitamin with a little bit of pee mixed in for good luck? I can’t certify that these meet FDA Daily Value thing, but if you’re ever starving to death in a car covered in snow, at least you know you won’t starve to death (if you’re guy). So check it out: “the composition of your average wad” (as quoted by Alex):

ascorbic acid (vitamin C, for tissue maintenance)
blood-group antigens (from immune system)
calcium (mineral)
chlorine (oxidizing agent)
cholesterol (steroid alcohol present in body fluids)
choline (base, part of the vitamin B complex)
citric acid (occurs during cellular metabolism)
creatine (nitrogenous substance found in muscle)
deoxyribonucleic acid (DNA)
fructose (sugar used for energy)
glutathione (peptide amino acid)
hyaluronidase (enzyme)
inositol (sugar found in muscles)
lactic acid (byproduct of muscle use)
magnesium (mineral)
nitrogen (gas found in all living tissue)
phosporus (mineral)
potassium (mineral)
purine (compound of uric acid)
pyrimidine (organic base)
pyruvic acid (formed from either glucose or glycogen)
sodium (salt)
sorbitol (body alcohol)
spermidine (catalytic enzyme)
spermine (ammonia compound found in sperm)
urea (from urine)
uric acid (from urine)
vitamin B12 (for proper function of nervous system and metabolism)
zinc (mineral)

I was also told it apparently tastes like dried apricots. And I must say, though all my years of gay affiliation, no one has ever told me it tastes like dried apricots. I’ve heard of it tasting like brie, clorox pudding, and salty yogurt (ugh, i think i just threw up in my mouth a little) — but never dried apricots.
Also — the anatomy lesson filled with parts I didn’t know about:

“Seminal plasma is partially made up of a fructose-rich fluid — produced by the seminal vesicles — which provides nourishment for the sperm cells. The seminal vesicles also make prostaglandins, unsaturated fatty acids used for hormonal actions. The prostate gland produces a thin, milky, alkaline fluid that helps the sperm live when exposed to the acidic lining of the vagina, uterus, and ass. The pea-shaped bulbourethral glands (Cowper’s glands) at the base of the penis produce a fluid we refer to as “pre-cum.” This is secreted to lubricate the urethra (the tube that runs through the penis) so the semen can travel more easily — however, some men do not secrete this fluid in visible quantities.”

So thanks to Alex for the informative tidbit of anatomy. 😉

hot fruit

I’ve been playing on friendster a lot as of late. My friend list is slowly growing, which is exciting and fun. LOL. Last nite, I came across a new friend with whom I’ve known for several years … Jerri Blank.
According to her profile …

Hello, I’m Jerri Blank and I’m a 46-year-old high school freshman. For 32 years I was a teenage runaway. And I’m a pathological liar and everything I’m about to say is true. I was a boozer, a user, and a loser. My friends were dealers, cons, and 18 karat pimps. I stole the TV; did some more time. But now I’m out of jail, picking up my life exactly where I left off. I’m back in high school, living at home, and discovering all sorts of things about my body. I’m finding out that though the faces have changed, the hassles are just the same. I’m a respectable girl, and I expect a respectable evening, full of respect.

She’s one hot piece of fruit.

poopin’ in paris

I was having a discussino today with Davy about a variety of stuff, which seemed to disolve (much like my discussion with Rachel) to talk about poop. I know it’s extremely juvenile, but for some reason, poop is funny. Brad doesn’t think so, but sometimes I just can’t help but laugh. Davy told me there must be some Freudian meaning behind my laughing at poop. Perhaps there is. I blame a lot of it on David. He messages me everyday with “POOP!”
And then I started thinking about how our society works. Like, take Paris Hilton for example. She makes this really bad amateur porn tape of her blowing some guy and everyone gets in a tizzy. And yet, she’s shot to fame in all her skanky-ass glory. But it makes you wonder. What if that video had been really disgusting. Like Paris taking part in scat or something yuk. What would the nation think then? Do you think that would have made the nightly news? Why the double standard, Mr. Media? I think Paris Hiton eating shit is equally as newsworthy as her parading her rather anti-climactic breasts and smokin’ rod.
Sometimes I just don’t understand the media.

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