MonthNovember 2004

it’s not unusual

My boss comes in today and asks me and my coworker/cohort in crime to come with her. So I’m totally thinking we’re in trouble cuz they told us to quit using IM here at work, but we still do. (Not that I’m paranoid …) Anyway — so she’s laughing and we’re like uhh. And she says I just wanted to thank you guys for the help you gave me in setting up my website, so I got you a present.
It’s a Tom Jones cd, people. Tom Jones’ Greatest Hits even. How fabulous is that? Alex and I had been discussing Tom Jones before Thanksgiving and my boss had come in on us and we explained that he’s so gross and plastic, that he’s fabulous. And now we have our very own Tom Jones cd. ROFLMAO. Seriously amazing. I mean, What’s New Pussycat — Sexbomb? ROFLMAO!!
Geez. Good time in the office. You should see me dance.

let’s get stoned, yo

1. And the boy Michael layeth himself down to sleep, as his head was indeed tired.
2. And the Devil crept upon him in the night and planted his seed in the side of the boy to bring to pass his wicked and evil deeds.
3. Michael rose the next morning to find his insides burning with the inferno of Hell, and cursed the demons that scorched his innards.
4. And behold, a month passed with continuing agony and pain, and the seed of the Devil bore its way to the middle of the boy.
5. Finally, the boy Michael shouted out, “I am filled with Christ’s love!” and the seed expelled itself from his body, and the seed was spilt upon the earth.

The image above is my stone compared to a pencil eraser.

been a busy boy

I haven’t blogged in forever, I know. Sue me. No don’t, cuz i’m totally broke at the moment. I have an excuse, of course, I’ve been very busy with Option9 work and with school work. (Working with MS SQL Server when you are clueless is not exactly an easy task.) But I thought I would show what I’ve been doing as of late.
We re-launched a week ago with a whole new interface. It’s still not COMPLETELY finished yet, as we need to do the boutique. A few hang ups there, but it will be done shortly. Many thanks to Kevin and David for an awesome job. The galleries are all dynamic and there is a whole back end to update the galleries so that we (as a company) don’t have to do it.

I’ve also been hard at work on a website (mini-website) for a friend — and we’re also doing his cd packaging. Plus, the holidays, and me passing another kidney stone. (Still passing, thank you very much.)
I also did some Christmas shopping, which, of course, was a nightmare. I think the rest of the people on my list might just have to suffer with something from Pier 1. There’s a Pier 1 close to me at work that I can go to during the day. (Plus, they have really cute wrapping paper.)

Always Wanting

Soooooo …. I got Rufus Wainwright’s Want II two days ago. I haven’t really had a good serious listen to it until today. My first brief listening left me kind’a uninspired. But as I listened to it today — I was like “wow, this is great shit!” Well. All the but the first minute of Agnus Dei with that screaching cello or viola (or whatever). I almost skipped the song because of that. I REALLY wish he hadn’t done that.
But all in all — the song is great. Old Whore’s Diet really get stucks in your head (prolly cuz it’s repetative as hell). Of course, he had previously released four songs on “Waiting for a Want” — and I still think the Art Teacher and Gay Messiah are fantastic. I also really like The One You Love.
Good shit, Rufus. Keep it up. I’m already looking forward to his next project.

Polish Friday

I know that Fridays are usually foto fridays — but alas, I’ve been so busy, that I haven’t been able to particpate in our weekly endeavors.
I was able, however, to have Alex teach me some Polish.
So here you have it: Michael’s First Polish Lesson.
(Translation: Hello. My name is Michael, and I’m an alcoholic. I need to pee.)

step, bump, step bump bump

Drinking and driving are bad. Lots of times you get pulled over on your way home. Here is the police video of my new friend JB as he was pulled over driving home Sunday night after our drinks and seeing Hairspray.
Who could ask for more?

good morning, baltimore

I had one of the most enjoyable evenings in years last nite. My darling of a friend, David, invited me to go see Hairspray last nite at the Hobby Center with two of his co-workers. No amount of words can do justice to the fun I had.
Firstly — before the show, we went to this very empty gay bar, Keys West. Very cute inside, and being empty was even better, cuz we could talk and sing and laugh to hearts content without having to compete with others. So I met Steve and JB — who are absolutely amazing. The whole night was full of drinking and “oh girl” this and “oh girl” that. Brilliant.
The show was spectacular. Not a weak voice (well, except maybe a little of Miss Baltimore Crabs — but they used her weak upper register to her advantage and it made it sound purposely bad and desparate. — but i don’t think it was 100% purpose.) Tracy Turnblad was awesome. Shit — everyone was awesome. And the boy who played Link Larkin was just yummy as shit (check him here). (See, this is why you don’t publish your website on your profile — cuz you know every little gay boy in Houston rushed home and typed that in — much as I did.) (Well — ok, i waited till the next morning but still … you get my point.)
After Hairspray, we sang Cher. In the car. Loudly. “Do you believe in life after love?” ROFL — was a hoot. And then we proceeded to drink even more … and more … and more. I finally got home a little past 2 — stumbled to my bedroom, stripped off my stinky smokey clothes, and just fell on to my bed naked. I know I got up at some point to go pee, but I don’t remember — but trust me, I know it happened. LOL.
Anyway — now I have two new friends who are fabulous in every sense of the word — and I saw a great show. And I even got hit on by some guy named Ed. ROFL! Fun times, my friend — fun times.

violence in dreamurbia

I had another dream last nite about a certain someone whom I rather loathe, despise, and come just short of a full-fledged hatred. Yes, L***n appeared again. This time was different tho — sorta.
I was with a friend — Brad, I think. And we were driving around and trying to find a place to eat. The first place we chose was just closing, so we went to this other restaurant that had thick white tableclothes. We were being seated, and as we were walking to the table, it was obvious that we were going to pass a table that had L***n sitting at it. Of course, he saw me. He stands up, and we great each other, a kiss on the cheek, and he began talking. I have no idea what he said now — but we got into an argument. I know it was about how he hurt me, and I became quite adamant about the subject. Finally, I remember standing back and slapping him twice — across each cheek. These were not just little slaps either. These were full-bodied, practically-a-fist smacks. After that, I was like “Asshole.”
I grabbed Brad and we left. I was obviously distraught, so Brad decided to take me shopping. He dropped me at this furniture store and he went away. So I’m walking around in the store and all the furniture is gargantuan. 20 foot tall armoires and cabinets — some glass doors. I finally saw this HUGE king-size bed with 20 foot bannister posts. I had to have a ladder to get on it. It was glorious, but cost $1600 — which I did not have.
I walked around more, and I guess I just started to stew because I eventually got so pissed I started breaking shit. I toppled this huge glass-door cabinet that just shattered … and I ran away.
I was eventually caught by the police and arrested and put in jail. They were understanding of my emotional plea, — but then I woke up.
I wonder why I’m still having dreams about him. And why my dreams turn violent when they involve him. And what did all that big furniture mean? And the white tableclothes?

would you like some sperm?

I found out today that University of Phoenix is increasing their tuition rate AGAIN. For me, being an online student, it’s only going up 4.5% — otherwise it’s 11% for the rest of the country. So my tuition rate is going up like $50 a class or something. Assholes. So that’s like $1380 a class. So I called my financial advisor and he says that for my February class, I will owe $533 out of pocket. Nice.
So I’m talking to Davy about my delimna and he suggested I donate sperm for money. LOL — I’ve never considered doing this. I would have this constant future fear that everytime I see a red headed child, I’d fear he was mine. Yikes. Anyway — so he sends me this link to an FAQ about donating sperm. What caught me off guard was this:

Make sure the sperm bank is licensed by the state it is in! If it is, you know the state is keeping really close tabs on what the bank is doing with all its sperm. If the bank if not licensed by the state, they could be doing very unpleasant (and possibly illegal) things with the sperm deposits.

So what sort of “unpleasant things” would they do with the sperm? Use it as a food additive? Shampoo? Save it up for a bukkake video? (Ok, I’m starting to gross myself out.)

jesus on a half shell

My good friend Alex made this creation. We came up with this concept a few months ago somehow — it was truly a revelation.

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