MonthAugust 2004

Question 8:

Wanna mess with the mind of a 5-year-old?
I was propositioned today to warp a child (no, not like Jacko, you perv.). Well … not so much warp as blatantly lie and decieve. Apparently this particular child, whom we’ll call “Sloan”, has been very naughty (and not in that “good” kind’a naughty way.). Being bad in church, not following directions, downloading porn … and his mother is in need of assistance.
Michael to the rescue. I have been asked to impersonate (LOL) an elf from the North Pole and basically say “Big Brother’s watching you. Be good or you’re going to Hell with all the other bad angels.” I get to play demented elf — (not that scary dentist elf like in that Rudolph movie.) What great fun is this!!!?

So . . . Tired . . . Must . . . Sleep . . .

For some reason I am SO tired today. My eyes are all kinds of burning, and I look really . . . worn. I don’t know why — I slept just fine, really. Went to bed about midnight — got up at 6:45, which is plenty of sleep. But alas, I am feel like hell. Maybe it’s Jesus’ revenge for my comment last nite.
Anyway, so I’m currently sitting in the Med Center in Houston at the University of Houston School of Nursing. It’s a really nice building. Very. . . modern loft. Actually, it looks like IKEA threw up all over the place. But I like it. I’m here to help teach the students (10 of em) how to use their PDAs and the nursing software we distributed. They were also supposed to be taking this test to look up information in their textbooks. Of course, no one brought their text books. We’re going to be here forever, I know it.
Brad e-mailed me this morning to tell me that He-Who-Cannot-Be-Named was at Guava last nite with his boyfriend — and that he got up and sang a song. Ya know, he really doesn’t sing very well. And I’m not saying I have the voice of angel, but he REALLY can’t sing. But bless him for trying. (And bless us for having to listen.) So it is very good that I did not go to Guava last nite. I can only imagine what that would have been like. I have to admit I wonder whether he responded to my last e-mail … and maybe these are things I should be thinking — but I do, nonetheless. It’s like one big … uzumaki.
So, Friday, on my day off, Michael-gurl and Patrick helped me rearrange my apartment. It is completely different and my cat loves it. It’s SOOOO open now. I also went through and de-ex-ed my apartment. I threw away EVERYTHING that was ex-related. Teddy bears, poems, pictures, clothes — everything. (Hateful bastard.) Not that I’m bitter. But seriously — it’s just time to move on, to cleanse my apartment of the negativity that has come about become of him (them) (us). And now it’s almost there. My bedroom, sadly, will probably have to be the same. Just too much stuff and not enough options to move it.
Anyway, ramble, ramble, ramble. Maybe I’ll ramble some more in a little bit.

Possessed Animals

What is it with animals today?
First, yesterday I read about this killer attack squirrel of death who attacked a man driving on (moving) motorcycle. Rather than be squashed, it jumped up on to the motorcyle and started attacking the man.
And then today, I read an article about a “bionic” hedgehog who repeatedly attacked a man and some dogs. It was kicked, hit in the head with a shovel, and finally shot, and just ran away into the woods. They said it was the size of a cat. How fucked up is that? It’s like Caddyshack on crack.

Question 7:

Would it be bad to tell Jesus to “Go To Hell?”
I’m prolly going to hell for that — but it was a question that came up in a discussion with my new internet boyfriend, Adam. We were internetting about this, that, and the other, and we started to speak of Jesus and if Christ were to come before we were ever able to meet. And I said, well I’d just have to tell Jesus to go back to Heaven — which mutated to going to Hell.
Actually — I heard that the Catholic church is offering a new fat-free Communion wafer called “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Jesus . . . ”

You’re Breakin’ My Heart

My mom sent me a link to this song that her and my aunt used to play when they were pissed at men. And my how it applies. Thanks, Mom.
You’re breakin’ my heart
You’re tearin’ it apart
So fuck you
All I want to do
Is have a good time
Now I’m blue
You wanna boogaloo
Run down to Tramps
Have a dance or two–ooh!
You’re breaking my heart
You’re tearin’ it apart
But fuck you
You’re breakin’ my heart
You’re tearin’ it apart
You stepped on my ass
You’re breaking my glasses too
You wanna drive my car
Buy a lot of stuff
I’ve had enough
Of you–ooh!
I’m goin’ insane
There’s no one to blame
So fuck you
You’ve gotta have your way
There’s nothin’ left to say
There’s nothin’ left to do–ooh!
You’re breakin’ my heart
You’re tearin’ it apart
So fuck you
You’ve gotta have your way
There’s nothin’ left to say
There’s nothin’ left to do–ooh!
You’re breakin’ my heart
You’re tearin’ it apart
But I love you …

Le Sigh

Why are there so many songs about rainbows
And what’s on the other side?
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions,
And rainbows have nothing to hide.
So we’ve been told and some choose to believe it
I know they’re wrong, wait and see.
Someday we’ll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers, and me.
Who said that every wish would be heard and answered
When wished on the morning star?
Somebody thought of that, and someone believed it,
And look what it’s done so far.
What’s so amazing that keeps us stargazing
And what do we think we might see?
Someday we’ll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers, and me.
All of us under its spell,
We know that it’s probably magic…
… Have you been half asleep? And have you heard voices?
I’ve heard them calling my name.
… Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors?
The voice might be one and the same
I’ve heard it too many times to ignore it
It’s something that I’m s’posed to be…
Someday we’ll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers, and me.

Question 6:

Won’t you please, won’t you please? Please won’t you be my neighbor?
Well good morning, neighbor. I’ve had some interesting … interations … with my new neighbor next door. His name is Randy — he’s 26 … kind’a cute, taller than I. We’ve met on a number of occasions in passing, have invited each other over twice and we had nice conversation. However …
I think he is flirting with me. I mean, I could be wrong. But the wink, calling me “babe,” — and his response of “I’ll have to remember that,” when I told him, “I’m a cheap date. It doesn’t take much to get me buzzed.” There have been a few other things … but those are the most prominent.
So is he just being neighborly? Am I reading too much? Everytime he sees me he is ALL smiles. He collects candles. Loves stars and moon stuff. Yet … he’s the assistant maintenance man at my complex. Mixed signals, yo. Perhaps time will tell. LOL. Perhaps.

Question 5:

What’s a UBS?
I’ve been teaching an “eCamp” at UTMB to the new Generic BSN (nursing) students. This is a make-up eCamp for the students who missed it the first go-round. It looks like most of them are bored out of their minds. For the ones who aren’t completely glazed over from lack of comprehension, to the one red-headed curly-haired boy who was asleep – to the girl who looks completely put out at having to be here — it hasn’t really been the most “uplifting” eCampe we’ve done. I hope their presentations aren’t complete shit.
This is the last eCamp I’m giving for this school year — and I have to admit that I’m kind’a glad. I’ve given 5 of these things — and I’ve been the bulk presenter for all of them. Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy it — I enjoy teaching people about things they need to know, hopefully on terms they understand. But I can only go over basic security so many times before I just want to give them all spyware and tell them to figure out how to get rid of it without formatting their hard drive.
And now I’m absolutely bored and am SO ready to get out of here. Thank god tomorrow is a holiday. It has been the week from HELL. Seriously. Hell from Hell even. So a HUGE thank you to those who have been my crutch.

WebCam Fun

So we got webcams today at work for use with Macromedia Breeze. There has been much fun going on in the office — as you can see below — Alex took a fun picture of me and her.

Question 4:

I decided to just take the chance and email you (hoping for a good response from you) and see if we could actually talk and catch-up like normal adults do without any shady memory bias. But after I got your response I realized that we will probably never be friends like I have wanted to with you.
I think it is really difficult for ex’s to be friends right away after a relationship. Even 6 months after the relationship is over may be too soon for something like that. Particularly if the breakup was messy and sad. Of course, it depends on the two people.
I, however, am not capable of a friendly relationship given strained emotions and residual pain. And if he can’t understand, then … well , it doesn’t matter because we’re not going to be friends anyway.
And as far as “catching up as normal adults do without a shady memory bias …” What the fuck is that? Shady memory bias? Is that like saying “Let’s be friends despite of all the emotional bullshit I’ve put you through.” Oh yah, please, let’s be friends. I do love your maniuplative ways and your lack of tact when discussing painful topics. /smack Stupid ass. Maybe if you’d quit psycho-analyzing everything you might grow a heart.
So, as Yitzok said — “Fuck you, I’m going to Guam.” Analyze that.
And with all that being said, I sent out a very coridal email asking for no more contact. Period. And to ensure there will be no more e-mails from him, I have blacklisted his address on a server level, so I will NEVER receive another email from his address.
“I wash my hands of your demolition …” — Pilate (Jesus Christ Superstar)

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